{"id":1706,"date":"2007-11-13T02:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-13T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/92.45.35.169\/mukemmellik-aliskanliktir\/"},"modified":"2014-02-23T21:31:58","modified_gmt":"2014-02-23T19:31:58","slug":"mukemmellik-aliskanliktir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kariyer.net\/kariyer-rehberi\/mukemmellik-aliskanliktir\/","title":{"rendered":"M\u00fckemmellik al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131kt\u0131r"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"“G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” <\/span><\/div>\n
O sabah yar\u0131 uykulu halimden s\u0131yr\u0131ld\u0131m birden ve etraf\u0131ma bak\u0131nd\u0131m. Benden ba\u015fka kimse yoktu ve hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m biri bana g\u00fclerek g\u00fcnayd\u0131n diyordu. Hem de bir Cumartesi sabah 6:30’da. Al\u0131\u015fk\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan olsa gerek, biraz \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Ben \u0130stanbul’da hafta sonunda, sabah\u0131n erken bir saatinde d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda genellikle sokaklarda kimse olmaz, olsa da zaten bir tatil g\u00fcn\u00fcnde o kadar erken kalkm\u0131\u015f olmaktan dolay\u0131 can\u0131 s\u0131kk\u0131n olur. <\/span><\/div>\n
Sonu\u00e7 olarak g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen bir y\u00fcz ve “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n” diyen enerjik bir ses duyma \u015fans\u0131m neredeyse yok gibidir. E\u011fer siz o enerjik ve \u00e7evreye ne\u015fe sa\u00e7an insanlardansan\u0131z, ne mutlu bir az\u0131nl\u0131ktans\u0131n\u0131z, bir bilseniz…<\/span><\/div>\n

Bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme yeter…<\/span><\/strong>
G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemenin, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zla selam vermenin ya da dost\u00e7a bir ka\u00e7 kelime etmenin ki\u015filer \u00fczerinde ne kadar rahatlat\u0131c\u0131, ne kadar olumlu bir etkisi oldu\u011funu unuttuk. \u00c7evremizdekilerle etkile\u015fime girmemek i\u00e7in y\u00fczlerce sebep buluyoruz kendimizce. Zamans\u0131zl\u0131k, ilgisizlik, reddedilme korkusu, hata yapma korkusu, bilinmeyenden korkma ya da belki o ki\u015finin\/ki\u015filerin fark\u0131na varmama… Beyinlerimiz, onlarca dosyan\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131k oldu\u011fu bilgisayarlar gibi. Hatta bir k\u0131sm\u0131 hata mesaj\u0131 bile veriyor:”Yetersiz bellek” ve kendili\u011finden kapan\u0131yor. Bu yo\u011funlukta bir de ba\u015fkalar\u0131na m\u0131 vakit ay\u0131raca\u011f\u0131z? Kendimize bile zaman bulam\u0131yoruz. \u0130kna olmak ne kadar olay \u00f6yle de\u011fil mi? Son derece ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i duruyor sebeplerimiz. Oysa ki y\u00fcr\u00fcrken y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fczde olu\u015facak bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme e\u015fli\u011finde ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131zla selam vermek belki 10 saniye bile s\u00fcrmez. O y\u00fczden bahanelere s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmay\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p, ger\u00e7eklerle y\u00fczle\u015felim. Gittik\u00e7e asosyal oluyoruz. Kar\u015f\u0131 dairemizde oturan\u0131, hatta bizimle ayn\u0131 \u015firkette, ayn\u0131 katta \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan\u0131 bile tan\u0131m\u0131yoruz ya da tan\u0131mak istemiyoruz. Neler oluyor bizlere?<\/span><\/div>\n

Nezaketin modas\u0131 ge\u00e7ti mi?<\/span><\/strong>
1930 y\u0131lnda Thorndike 3 \u00e7e\u015fit zekadan bahsetmi\u015ftir; soyut, mekanik ve sosyal zeka. Sosyal zekay\u0131 tan\u0131mlarken de ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 anlama ve insan ili\u015fkilerinde ak\u0131ll\u0131ca\/bilgece davranma becerisi s\u00f6zlerini kullanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Sosyal zekan\u0131n akademik beceriden farkl\u0131 oldu\u011funu ve insanlar\u0131n hayatta ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olmalar\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flayan anahtar fakt\u00f6r oldu\u011funu yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde duygusal zekan\u0131n i\u00e7inde kabul edilen sosyal zekan\u0131n, nesilden nesile d\u00fc\u015fmesi belki de neden insanlara bu kadar uzak durdu\u011fumuzu a\u00e7\u0131klayabilir. Di\u011fer taraftan yap\u0131lan ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar, asl\u0131nda pek \u00e7ok ki\u015finin probleminin nas\u0131l etkile\u015fime girece\u011fini bilmemesi ya da emin olmamas\u0131 oldu\u011funu belgeliyor. Neden bilemiyoruz dersiniz? Bana g\u00f6re a\u00e7\u0131klamas\u0131 son derece basit. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizler insan ili\u015fkilerini d\u00fczenleyen en \u00f6nemli unsuru, nezaket kurallar\u0131n\u0131 hayat\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131kartma yoluna gittik. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizler, Jullian Baggini’nin s\u00f6yledi\u011fi gibi salt g\u00f6rg\u00fc kurallar\u0131 ile g\u00fcnl\u00fck ahlak aras\u0131ndaki ay\u0131r\u0131m\u0131 yapmakta ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa u\u011frad\u0131k. Nezaket kurallar\u0131n\u0131n modas\u0131n\u0131n ge\u00e7ti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck i\u00e7imizden, ne gerek var \u00f6\u011frenmeye, uygulamaya dedik. Yemek yerken hangi \u00e7atal\u0131 kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ne \u00f6nemi var ki, \u00f6nemli olan benim bilgim, \u00fcnvan\u0131m, ki\u015fili\u011fim dedik. Ama fark\u0131na varmadan insanlarla ili\u015fkilerimizi d\u00fczenleyen, bizleri di\u011ferlerine yakla\u015ft\u0131ran, toplumu toplum yapan baz\u0131 g\u00fczel al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131n da ortadan kalkmas\u0131na sebep olduk. \u00c7evremizdekilere sayg\u0131 g\u00f6stermenin, onlar\u0131n toplu ta\u015f\u0131ma ara\u00e7lar\u0131na itilmeden inip binme haklar\u0131na sayg\u0131 duymak oldu\u011funu unuttuk. A\u00e7\u0131k havada ya da bir kafede oturan ki\u015finin orada kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u00fcm s\u00fcre boyunca bizim sesimizi dinlemek ve att\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kahkahalara ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fc g\u00f6stermek zorunda olmama hakk\u0131n\u0131 unuttuk. Biz asl\u0131nda sosyal a\u00e7\u0131dan ilerlemenin, geli\u015fmenin medeni olmak, kibar olmak, g\u00f6rg\u00fc kurallar\u0131na uymak demek oldu\u011funu unuttuk. <\/p>\n

Nezaket k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ayr\u0131nt\u0131larda gizli<\/strong>
Sadece \u00f6zel hayat\u0131m\u0131zda de\u011fil i\u015f hayat\u0131m\u0131zda da kendimizi kaybettik bir anlamda. S\u00f6zlerimizle, tav\u0131rlar\u0131m\u0131zla \u00e7o\u011fu zaman birlikte \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ki\u015fileri ezip ge\u00e7iyoruz. En ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olmak ad\u0131na, di\u011ferlerinden daha iyi olmak ad\u0131na \u00e7o\u011fu zaman \u00e7evremizdekilerin ne hissetti\u011fine \u00f6nem vermiyoruz. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn materyalist d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda nezaketin yerini sorguluyoruz. Oysa insanlarla nas\u0131l konu\u015ftu\u011funuz, telefona nas\u0131l cevap verdi\u011finiz, hangi ortamda ne giydi\u011finiz, m\u00fc\u015fterilerinizi ya da sizinle \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan ki\u015fileri ba\u015fkalar\u0131yla nas\u0131l tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, nas\u0131l tokala\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, toplant\u0131larda, i\u015f yemeklerinde nas\u0131l davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z sadece di\u011ferleriyle olan ili\u015fkilerinizi d\u00fczenlemek ve onlar\u0131n kendilerini k\u00f6t\u00fc hissetmelerine engel olmakla kalmaz, sizin de daha iyi bir imaj sergilemenizi sa\u011flar. <\/p>\n

Nezaket kurallar\u0131n\u0131 neden \u00f6\u011frenmeliyiz?<\/strong>
Nezaket kurallar\u0131 z\u00fcppelik de\u011fildir. Modas\u0131 ge\u00e7mi\u015f bir kurallar zinciri de de\u011fildir. Kendinize ve \u00e7evrenizdekilere g\u00f6sterdi\u011finiz sayg\u0131n\u0131n bir kan\u0131t\u0131d\u0131r. Frans\u0131zlar\u0131n s\u00f6yledi\u011fi gibi, istedi\u011finiz, elde etmek i\u00e7in \u00e7aba harcad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z ba\u015far\u0131n\u0131n biletidir ger\u00e7ekten de. Nezaket kurallar\u0131n\u0131 bilmek ve uygulamak size kendinizi daha farkl\u0131, daha iyi hissettirir. Kendinize g\u00fcveniniz artar. \u0130nsanlar sizden ho\u015flanmaya ba\u015flar. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc siz bu sayede onlara kendilerini \u00f6zel hissettirmeye ba\u015flars\u0131n\u0131z. Bunun insanlar \u00fczerindeki etkisi sizi unutulmaz yapmaya yeter. Eminim i\u015f hayat\u0131nda ya da \u00f6zel hayat\u0131n\u0131zda kibarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve do\u011fru davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 sayesinde  d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcz naho\u015f bir durumu, pozitif bir hale d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmeyi ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f, sizi rezil olmaktan kurtarm\u0131\u015f bir kahraman vard\u0131r. Mesela \u00e7atal\u0131n\u0131zdan masaya d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcz et par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmemezli\u011fe gelen, hatta di\u011ferleri ile konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flayarak dikkatleri ba\u015fka tarafa \u00e7eken ve size gerekli \u00f6nlemi almak i\u00e7in vakit sa\u011flayan sat\u0131\u015f eleman\u0131. Nas\u0131l da kurtarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 sizi patronun \u00f6n\u00fcnde k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fc\u015fmekten? Hala hat\u0131rlars\u0131n\u0131z onu, hatta b\u00f6lge sat\u0131\u015f m\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc pozisyonu i\u00e7in tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z birileri olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 soran arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131za da onun ismini vermi\u015ftiniz… Unutmayal\u0131m ki i\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmelerinde, i\u015f toplant\u0131lar\u0131nda, fuarlar, kongreler, seminerler k\u0131saca kendinizi ve \u015firketinizi temsil edece\u011finiz her hangi bir ortamda “Cilal\u0131 Profesyonel” olman\u0131n \u00f6nemli ko\u015fullar\u0131ndand\u0131r i\u015f hayat\u0131n\u0131n nezaket kurallar\u0131n\u0131 bilmek ve uygulamak. <\/span><\/div>\n


S\u00fcrekli olarak ne yap\u0131yorsak oyuz<\/span><\/strong>
\u0130\u015f hayat\u0131n\u0131n kurallar\u0131n\u0131 bilmek bizleri ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 yapar. Bu konuya \u00f6zen g\u00f6stermemiz daha profesyonel bir imaj vermemizi sa\u011flar ki bu da sayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ve g\u00fcvenilirli\u011fimizi artt\u0131r\u0131r. Pek \u00e7ok ki\u015fiden daha iyi bir e\u011fitim ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 ve insanlara \u00f6zen g\u00f6sterdi\u011finizi ortaya koyar. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n \u00f6\u011frendiklerini i\u00e7selle\u015ftirmesi ve davran\u0131\u015flara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmesi i\u00e7in tekrarlamas\u0131 gerekiyor. Duymak, g\u00f6rmek, okumak yetmiyor. Yapmak gerekiyor. Aristo’nun da dedi\u011fi gibi: ”Bizler s\u00fcrekli olarak ne yap\u0131yorsak oyuz. Bu durumda m\u00fckemmellik bir fiil de\u011fil, bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131kt\u0131r.” <\/span><\/div>\n
M\u00fckemmel olma yolunda al\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131n\u0131za hemen ba\u015flamaya ne dersiniz? \u0130lk ad\u0131m olarak yar\u0131n sabah i\u015fe gitmek i\u00e7in evden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zda tan\u0131masan\u0131z dahi ilk rastlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z ki\u015fiye g\u00fclery\u00fczle ve olumlu bir ses tonu ile “G\u00fcnayd\u0131n” deyin ve o mutlu az\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa kat\u0131l\u0131n. <\/span><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
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“G\u00fcnayd\u0131n!” O sabah yar\u0131 uykulu halimden s\u0131yr\u0131ld\u0131m birden ve etraf\u0131ma bak\u0131nd\u0131m. Benden ba\u015fka kimse yoktu ve hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m biri bana g\u00fclerek g\u00fcnayd\u0131n diyordu. Hem de bir Cumartesi sabah 6:30’da. Al\u0131\u015fk\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan olsa gerek, biraz \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Ben \u0130stanbul’da hafta sonunda, sabah\u0131n erken bir saatinde d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda genellikle sokaklarda kimse olmaz, olsa da zaten bir tatil g\u00fcn\u00fcnde […]<\/p>\n\n

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