{"id":1983,"date":"2009-04-21T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-21T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/92.45.35.169\/kelebekler-aci-ceker-mi\/"},"modified":"2024-08-08T21:12:35","modified_gmt":"2024-08-08T18:12:35","slug":"kelebekler-aci-ceker-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kariyer.net\/kariyer-rehberi\/kelebekler-aci-ceker-mi\/","title":{"rendered":"Kelebekler ac\u0131 \u00e7eker mi?"},"content":{"rendered":"

De\u011fi\u015fim, en b\u00fcy\u00fck korkular\u0131m\u0131zdan biri. Ama d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn, t\u0131rt\u0131l kozas\u0131n\u0131n y\u0131rt\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kmazsa nas\u0131l kelebe\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cKelebekler d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmleri s\u0131ras\u0131nda ac\u0131 \u00e7eker mi acaba? Sadece bedenleri de\u011fi\u015fti\u011fi i\u00e7in belki de hi\u00e7 ac\u0131 hissetmezler… Ac\u0131s\u0131z bir de\u011fi\u015fim? Bir kelebek olabilseydim ke\u015fke ben de.\u00a0 G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftirebilmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil ama! Duygular\u0131m\u0131, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimi, alg\u0131lay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131, al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 hatta tamamen ki\u015fili\u011fimi de\u011fi\u015ftirebilmek i\u00e7in… Bir gece yast\u0131\u011fa ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 koyup ertesi sabah yepyeni bir insan olarak uyanabilsem. Birileri benim i\u00e7in se\u00e7imleri yapsa. \u201cBundan sonra art\u0131k senin hayat\u0131n \u015fu \u015fekilde olacak.\u201d dese. Verilecek kararlar\u0131n, yap\u0131lacak se\u00e7imlerin sonu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n benim ama sadece benim de\u011fil ailemin hayat\u0131na da getirece\u011fi de\u011fi\u015fikliklerden korkuyorum. Yaln\u0131z olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyorum. Milyonlarca insan var benim gibi. Stat\u00fckoyu b\u0131rak\u0131p bilinmeyene do\u011fru ufak ad\u0131mlar atmaya ba\u015flayan ve bunun i\u00e7in kendini su\u00e7layan, i\u00e7i korkuyla dolup geri ad\u0131m atan milyonlarca insan… Birden kendisine seslenen y\u00f6neticisinin sesiyle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinden s\u0131yr\u0131ld\u0131. Evet baz\u0131 konularda farkl\u0131 bir yerlerde olmak farkl\u0131 \u015feyler yapmay\u0131 \u00e7ok isterdi ama yine de \u015f\u00fckretmesi gerekti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Neyine gerekti de\u011fi\u015fmek? Elindekilerle yetinmesi gerekti\u011fini, yoksa Dimyat\u2019a pirince giderken evdeki bulgurdan olabilece\u011fini s\u00f6ylerdi annesi.<\/p>\n

De\u011fi\u015fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek\u00a0<\/strong>K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya da b\u00fcy\u00fck de\u011fi\u015fimleri hemen hepimiz hayal ediyoruz. \u00c7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015firketi de\u011fi\u015ftirmek, mesle\u011fimizi de\u011fi\u015ftirmek, beslenme al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ya da arkada\u015f \u00e7evremizi de\u011fi\u015ftirmek… Hatta bazen arabam\u0131z\u0131 ya da oturdu\u011fumuz evi de\u011fi\u015ftirmek. Bazen de kendimizle ilgili de\u011fi\u015fiklikleri hayal ediyoruz, hedef koyuyoruz: Daha iyi ileti\u015fim kurabildi\u011fimizi, \u201chay\u0131r\u201d demeyi ba\u015farabildi\u011fimizi ya da i\u015f\/\u00f6zel hayat dengemizi kurdu\u011fumuzu, baz\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u00fck al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 yeniledi\u011fimizi d\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcyoruz. Baz\u0131 hedefler var ki asl\u0131nda onlara d\u00fc\u015f demek gerekiyor \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar\u0131n ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmeleri pek kolay de\u011fil. Hatta baz\u0131 bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131na g\u00f6re imkans\u0131z. Baz\u0131 hedefler ise asl\u0131nda hayal de\u011fil tasavvur. \u201cTasavvur\u201d \u00d6zt\u00fcrk\u00e7e\u2019de tek bir kelime ile a\u00e7\u0131klayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir fiil. Hayal etme anlam\u0131na geliyor ama ayn\u0131 zamanda ama\u00e7, niyet demek. Yani asl\u0131nda yarat\u0131labilen, ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirilebilecek ayn\u0131 zamanda amac\u0131n\u0131z\/hedefiniz haline gelebilen bir hayal. Bir ba\u015fka deyi\u015fle bir potansiyel bir de\u011fi\u015fim; hayat\u0131n\u0131zda ya da kendinizde, belki de sevdiklerinizde. \u0130\u015fte b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz ama harekete ge\u00e7iyor muyuz?<\/p>\n

Peki ya siz istiyor musunuz de\u011fi\u015fimi?<\/strong>
\n\u00c7evrenizde ka\u00e7 ki\u015finin hedefine ula\u015fmak i\u00e7in, asl\u0131nda \u00e7ok kolay olmasa da, yaratabilece\u011fi de\u011fi\u015fim\/d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmler i\u00e7in korkusuzca, bahaneler \u00fcretmeden bir\u015feyler yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsunuz? Sizin nas\u0131l bir de\u011fi\u015fim\/d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcme ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z var? Bunu sa\u011flamak i\u00e7in neler yap\u0131yorsunuz? Yoksa yapm\u0131yor musunuz? Her\u015fey yolundaym\u0131\u015f gibi davran\u0131p, o de\u011fi\u015fimlere ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z oldu\u011fu halde, bunun fark\u0131nda de\u011filmi\u015f gibi davran\u0131yorsunuz belki. E\u011fer neye ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z oldu\u011funu biliyor ama harekete ge\u00e7emiyorsan\u0131z yine de bu \u00fclkede ya\u015fayan milyonlarca insandan bir ad\u0131m ilerdesiniz demektir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7o\u011fu insan daha d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme a\u015famas\u0131na bile gelmemi\u015ftir. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek, sadece i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7irmek bile bazen insanlar\u0131n su\u00e7luluk duymas\u0131na sebep olur. \u00c7o\u011fu b\u00fct\u00fcn ailelerini, \u00e7evrelerini etkileyebilecek de\u011fi\u015fiklikleri de\u011fil yapmaktan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten bile ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131rlar. Peki ama neden?<\/p>\n

Neden korkuyoruz?\u00a0<\/strong>
\nAsl\u0131nda \u015f\u00f6yle bir \u00e7evremize bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z zaman insanlar\u0131n zihinlerinden ge\u00e7irdikleri de\u011fi\u015fimleri ya\u015fayabilmeleri, hedeflerine ula\u015fabilmeleri i\u00e7in yapmalar\u0131 gerekenin,\u00a0 baz\u0131 al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcyoruz. \u00d6rne\u011fin daha sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ya\u015fama ula\u015fmay\u0131 hayal ediyorsan\u0131z, onu hedefiniz haline getirip sonra da hedefinizi ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in beslenme ve spor yapma al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmeniz gerekiyor. Ama de\u011fi\u015fimi ger\u00e7ekten istemezseniz inan\u0131lmaz zor oluyor al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek. \u00c7o\u011fu al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar sa\u011flam, k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131 neredeyse imkans\u0131z zincirler halini al\u0131yor. B\u0131rak\u0131n g\u00fcnl\u00fck ve uzun s\u00fcreli al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, bazen evde bir e\u015fyan\u0131n yerini de\u011fi\u015ftirmek bile insanda inan\u0131lmaz bir stres yaratabiliyor. Al\u0131\u015fk\u0131n oldu\u011fumuz ortamlar\u0131, g\u00fcnl\u00fck rutinlerimizi hatta asl\u0131nda hi\u00e7 sevmedi\u011fimiz i\u015f yerimizi de\u011fi\u015ftirmeyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek bile bazen g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde ya da tam nefes borumuzda bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011fa sebep oluyor. Akl\u0131m\u0131zdan ge\u00e7en fikri kovmak i\u00e7in \u00e7e\u015fitli bahaneler \u00fcretiyoruz. Neden mi? Korkuyoruz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc… \u0130\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fumuz, tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, bir \u015fekilde y\u00fcr\u00fcyen d\u00fczenimizi bozmaktan koruyoruz. Hem de delicesine… Risk almak istemiyoruz…<\/p>\n

Korkulardan s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p ilk ad\u0131m\u0131 atabilmek <\/strong>
\nKaranl\u0131k bir gecede, \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze ne \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmeden y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye benziyor bu. D\u00fc\u015febiliriz, elimizdekileri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcp kaybedebiliriz ama en \u00f6nemlisi kaybolabiliriz. Pek \u00e7o\u011fumuz sonunu bilmedi\u011fimiz, g\u00f6remedi\u011fimiz her\u015feyden korkuyoruz. Kaybetme korkusu, ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k korkusu hatta ba\u015far\u0131 korkusu hayat\u0131m\u0131za nas\u0131l da hakim olmu\u015f durumda! Yersiz bir korku mu? Bazen… Sigaray\u0131 t\u00fcketmek size zarar veriyorsa art\u0131k al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zdan vazge\u00e7me zaman\u0131n\u0131z gelmi\u015ftir. Ama siz denemiyorsunuz bile. Sigaran\u0131n yoklu\u011funun size neler getirece\u011fini ya da sizden neler g\u00f6t\u00fcrece\u011fini bilmiyorsunuz. B\u0131rakmay\u0131 ba\u015faracaks\u0131n\u0131z belki ve sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z d\u00fczelecek ama ya sizi sigara i\u00e7meye g\u00fcd\u00fcleyen zevk alma duygunuz? Birlikte zaman ge\u00e7irdi\u011finiz b\u00fct\u00fcn arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z sigara i\u00e7iyor. Acaba siz o grubun ritmini mi bozacaks\u0131n\u0131z? Ya da belki sigaray\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131nca duman alt\u0131 bu ortam size eskisi kadar cazip gelmeyecek? Belki de deneyecek ama ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olup tekrar ba\u015flayacaks\u0131n\u0131z. \u00c7evrenizdekiler nas\u0131l da dalga ge\u00e7erler sizinle? \u201cBa\u015f\u0131ndan belliydi b\u0131rakamayaca\u011f\u0131n. Bo\u015funa ac\u0131 \u00e7ektin!\u201d s\u00f6zlerini duyars\u0131n\u0131z her yerden. Kendinizi k\u00f6t\u00fc hissedersiniz. Ama denemezseniz hep bir umut kal\u0131r i\u00e7inizde, \u00f6yle de\u011fil mi? Kesinlikle! \u00d6yleyse hi\u00e7 denemeyin sigaray\u0131 b\u0131rakmay\u0131,\u00a0 nas\u0131l olsa bir g\u00fcn hepimiz \u00f6lece\u011fiz, \u00f6yle de\u011fil mi? \u00c7o\u011fu insan\u0131n zihninde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sava\u015f i\u015fte bu \u015fekilde ilerler. Hem ba\u015farmaktan ve al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmekten korkar\u0131z hem de de\u011fi\u015ftiremeyip ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olmaktan. Asl\u0131nda de\u011fi\u015fimi hedeflemek ya da hedefe ula\u015fmak i\u00e7in de\u011fi\u015fmeye karar vermek \u00e7ok \u00e7etin bir m\u00fccadelenin ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizlerin hayat\u0131nda var olan d\u00fczeni ba\u015fka bir deyi\u015fle \u201ckonfor alan\u0131\u201dm\u0131z\u0131 geni\u015fletmeye ya da onun d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmaya itiyor bizi. Baz\u0131slar\u0131 m\u00fccadeleyi, risk almay\u0131, maceray\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyor… Ya di\u011ferleri?<\/p>\n

Konfor alan\u0131m\u0131z asl\u0131nda kafesimiz mi?\u00a0<\/strong>
\n\u00c7o\u011fumuz tan\u0131d\u0131k ortamlarda, \u00f6ng\u00f6r\u00fclebilir davran\u0131\u015f kal\u0131plar\u0131yla \u00e7evrili oldu\u011fumuzda kendimizi g\u00fcvende hissediyoruz. Stres ya\u015famadan, al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zla geli\u015ftirdi\u011fimiz bu g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez alana konfor alan\u0131 ad\u0131n\u0131 veriyoruz. Bizi tehdit eden de\u011fi\u015fimlerin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 rahat bir ortamdan bahsediyoruz. \u0130\u00e7imizde b\u00fcy\u00fcyen huzursuzluklar\u0131 susturup, korkular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n fark\u0131na varmadan ya\u015fay\u0131p gitti\u011fimiz o alan. Rahat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bozmamak i\u00e7in o alan\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kmamaya \u00f6zen g\u00f6steriyoruz. Hatta s\u0131n\u0131rlara yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z an bile heyecan ve stres ya\u015f\u0131yoruz. Kaybedebileceklerimizin \u00e7ok oldu\u011funuz d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz zaman yerimizden k\u0131p\u0131rdamak, risk almak istemiyoruz. Bazen de bir ad\u0131m at\u0131yor ama ilk denemede y\u00fcr\u00fcmezse arkam\u0131z\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcp g\u00fcvenli alan\u0131m\u0131za ko\u015fuyoruz. Chicago \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nden Mihaly Csikzentmihaly, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma ve ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131n\u0131 toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 Ak\u0131\u015f (Flow:The Psychology of Optimal Experience) adl\u0131 kitab\u0131nda en ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olanlar\u0131n s\u00fcrekli konfor alanlar\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 zorlayarak d\u0131\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kanlar oldu\u011funun alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7iziyor. Csikzentmihaly, ilk denemelerinde ald\u0131klar\u0131 sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce geri ad\u0131m atmayan bu ki\u015filerin, yeni alanlar\u0131nda ilk ba\u015fta rahats\u0131zl\u0131k ve ac\u0131 hisleri duyduklar\u0131n\u0131, y\u00fcksek performans seviyesine al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda ise en sonunda ac\u0131n\u0131n yerini rahatlama ve g\u00fcven hissi alana kadar dayand\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ifade ediyor.
\nGeli\u015fmek i\u00e7in de\u011fi\u015fmek gerekir…
\n\u00c7ok sevdi\u011fim bir s\u00f6z var: D\u00fcn yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z s\u00fcrece yar\u0131n bug\u00fcnden farkl\u0131 olmaz. Al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n sizi y\u00f6netmesine izin vermeyin. Aldous Huxley\u2019in dedi\u011fi gibi:\u201dD\u00fcnyay\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek istedim ama sonunda farkettim ki de\u011fi\u015ftirebildi\u011fim tek \u015fey kendimdim.\u201d De\u011fi\u015fmenin kolay olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ben de biliyorum. Hem de hi\u00e7 kolay de\u011fil. Ama unutmay\u0131n ki geli\u015fmek i\u00e7in de\u011fi\u015fmek gerekir. Ger\u00e7ekten kelebekler d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmleri s\u0131ras\u0131nda ac\u0131 \u00e7eker mi acaba?<\/p>\n

Kariyer Dergi Temmuz 2008<\/p>\n\n

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De\u011fi\u015fim, en b\u00fcy\u00fck korkular\u0131m\u0131zdan biri. Ama d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn, t\u0131rt\u0131l kozas\u0131n\u0131n y\u0131rt\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kmazsa nas\u0131l kelebe\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir? \u201cKelebekler d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmleri s\u0131ras\u0131nda ac\u0131 \u00e7eker mi acaba? Sadece bedenleri de\u011fi\u015fti\u011fi i\u00e7in belki de hi\u00e7 ac\u0131 hissetmezler… Ac\u0131s\u0131z bir de\u011fi\u015fim? Bir kelebek olabilseydim ke\u015fke ben de.\u00a0 G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftirebilmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil ama! Duygular\u0131m\u0131, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimi, alg\u0131lay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131, al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 hatta tamamen ki\u015fili\u011fimi de\u011fi\u015ftirebilmek i\u00e7in… Bir gece […]<\/p>\n\n

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\n\t\t\t\"Loading\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_elementor_edit_mode":"","_elementor_template_type":"","_elementor_data":"","_elementor_page_settings":null,"_elementor_conditions":[]},"categories":[2211,2214],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1983","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-kariyer-gelisimi","7":"category-yasam"},"yoast_head":"\nKelebekler ac\u0131 \u00e7eker mi? | Kariyer Rehberi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"De\u011fi\u015fim, en b\u00fcy\u00fck korkular\u0131m\u0131zdan biri. 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