{"id":22927,"date":"2026-04-13T16:39:25","date_gmt":"2026-04-13T13:39:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kariyer.net\/kariyer-rehberi\/?p=22927"},"modified":"2026-04-13T17:06:53","modified_gmt":"2026-04-13T14:06:53","slug":"ozguvenin-iki-yuzu-ve-aradaki-ucurum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kariyer.net\/kariyer-rehberi\/ozguvenin-iki-yuzu-ve-aradaki-ucurum\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00d6zg\u00fcvenin \u0130ki Y\u00fcz\u00fc ve Aradaki U\u00e7urum"},"content":{"rendered":"

Onu tan\u0131yorsunuz. Belki de her g\u00fcn aynada g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsunuz.<\/p>\n

Toplant\u0131ya giriyor, enerjisi y\u00fcksek, ileti\u015fimi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc, insanlar ona “ne kadar \u00f6zg\u00fcvenli biri” diyor. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor, te\u015fekk\u00fcr ediyor.<\/p>\n

Sonra toplant\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor ve kafas\u0131ndaki sesler ba\u015fl\u0131yor:<\/p>\n

“Do\u011fru \u015feyi mi s\u00f6yledim?” “Ya asl\u0131nda beni be\u011fenmedilerse?” “Fazla m\u0131 iddial\u0131 oldum?” “Ya bilmedi\u011fimi fark ederlerse?”<\/p>\n

Bu sahneyi zihinsel fitness uzman\u0131 Maya Raichoora bir TEDx konu\u015fmas\u0131nda “Alex” ad\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011fi bir karakter \u00fczerinden anlat\u0131yor ve salona soruyor: “Kim Alex\u2019te kendini g\u00f6r\u00fcyor?” Neredeyse herkes el kald\u0131r\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

Ben de kald\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Alex’i \u00e7ok iyi tan\u0131yorum. Y\u0131llarca onunla ayn\u0131 masada oturdum.<\/p>\n

\u0130ki farkl\u0131 \u00f6zg\u00fcven var ve \u00e7o\u011fumuz yaln\u0131zca birini geli\u015ftiriyoruz<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Maya’n\u0131n konu\u015fmas\u0131ndaki en \u00e7arp\u0131c\u0131 ayr\u0131m \u015fuydu: D\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven (confidence) ile i\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven (self-confidence) ayn\u0131 \u015fey de\u011fil.<\/p>\n

D\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven alk\u0131\u015fla b\u00fcy\u00fcr. \u00d6vg\u00fcyle beslenir. Bir sunum iyi gitti mi kendinizi harika hissedersiniz. Terfi ald\u0131n\u0131z m\u0131 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n tepesindesinizdir. M\u00fc\u015fteri “harika bir i\u015f \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131n\u0131z” dedi mi o g\u00fcn her \u015fey yolundad\u0131r. Ancak alk\u0131\u015f durdu\u011funda, ba\u015far\u0131 kesintiye u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, ele\u015ftiri geldi\u011finde bu \u00f6zg\u00fcven de onlarla birlikte d\u00fc\u015fer. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc temeli d\u0131\u015far\u0131da kurulmu\u015ftur ve d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki ko\u015fullar her zaman sizin kontrol\u00fcn\u00fczde de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven ise bamba\u015fka bir \u015feydir. Sessizdir. G\u00f6steri\u015fli de\u011fildir. Kimseye ispat etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaz. “Ne olursa olsun ben kendime g\u00fcveniyorum” diyen bir i\u00e7 bilgeliktir. Ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k geldi\u011finde de ele\u015ftiri geldi\u011finde de belirsizlik geldi\u011finde de ayakta kalman\u0131z\u0131 sa\u011flayan bir dayan\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131kt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Maya’n\u0131n \u00e7ok net ifade etti\u011fi bir c\u00fcmle var: \u0130\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven olmadan d\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven sadece bir maskeye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. \u0130\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcvenle birle\u015fti\u011finde ise ger\u00e7ek, otantik ve s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fclebilir bir g\u00fcce d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7 tehlike i\u015fareti<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Maya konu\u015fmas\u0131nda d\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcvene ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 oldu\u011fumuzu g\u00f6steren \u00fc\u00e7 i\u015faretten bahsediyor.<\/p>\n

Bu i\u015faretleri okurken kendinizi nerede g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmenizi rica ederim.<\/p>\n

Birincisi:<\/strong> D\u0131\u015f onaya a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k. Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n sizin hakk\u0131n\u0131zdaki g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fc, sizin kendiniz hakk\u0131ndaki g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fczden daha a\u011f\u0131r bas\u0131yorsa burada bir sorun olabilir. M\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcz “iyi i\u015f \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131n” dedi\u011finde kendinizi de\u011ferli hissedersiniz, demedi\u011finde ise “acaba bir sorun mu var” diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flars\u0131n\u0131z. Kendi sesinizi duyamaz hale gelirsiniz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n sesi \u00e7ok daha y\u00fcksektir.<\/p>\n

\u0130kincisi:<\/strong> Duruma g\u00f6re de\u011fi\u015fen \u00f6zg\u00fcven. \u0130\u015fler iyi gitti\u011finde kendinizi harika hissedersiniz, k\u00f6t\u00fc gitti\u011finde ise dibi g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz. Maya bunu \u00f6zellikle y\u00fcksek performansl\u0131 insanlarda \u00e7ok s\u0131k g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. \u2018\u2019Kazan\u0131rken tepede, kaybederken dipte\u2019\u2019 bu dalgalanma insan\u0131 hem fiziksel hem zihinsel olarak t\u00fcketir.<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fcs\u00fc:<\/strong> \u00d6zg\u00fcveni bir performans olarak kullanmak. Ger\u00e7ekten hissetti\u011finiz \u015feyi yans\u0131tmak yerine, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n bekledi\u011fi ki\u015fiyi oynamak. Maya buna “ruh halinizi yans\u0131tmak yerine beklentileri ayna gibi yans\u0131tmak” diyor. D\u00fcnya size \u00f6zg\u00fcvenin nas\u0131l g\u00f6r\u00fcnmesi gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor ve siz o kal\u0131ba uyuyorsunuz.<\/p>\n

Sabotajc\u0131lar: Maskenin arkas\u0131ndaki sesler<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Maya’n\u0131n konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 dinlerken s\u00fcrekli Pozitif Zeka’daki sabotajc\u0131lar\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Maya’n\u0131n “d\u0131\u015f onaya a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k” dedi\u011fi \u015fey, Pozitif Zeka’da Memnun Etme Delisi sabotajc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n temel kal\u0131b\u0131d\u0131r. “Beni be\u011fensinler, kabul etsinler, onaylas\u0131nlar” sesi bu sabotajc\u0131dan gelir. Ve bu ses ne kadar g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcyse, d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan ne kadar \u00f6zg\u00fcvenli g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrseniz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcn, i\u00e7eride o kadar k\u0131r\u0131lgan olursunuz. Memnun Etme Delisi benim birincil sabotajc\u0131m. Y\u0131llarca bu sesi kendi sesim sand\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Maya’n\u0131n “ba\u015far\u0131 varken yukar\u0131da, yokken dipte” dedi\u011fi dalgalanma ise Ba\u015far\u0131 Delisi sabotajc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n imzas\u0131d\u0131r. Bu sabotajc\u0131 de\u011ferinizi sonu\u00e7larla \u00f6l\u00e7menizi sa\u011flar. Bir projeyi ba\u015far\u0131yla teslim ettiniz mi kendinizi de\u011ferli hissedersiniz, bir aksilik oldu mu de\u011fersiz. \u00d6zg\u00fcveniniz bir borsa grafi\u011fi gibi s\u00fcrekli iner \u00e7\u0131kar ve bu dalgalanma hem sizi hem \u00e7evrenizi t\u00fcketir.<\/p>\n

Ve Maya’n\u0131n “\u00f6zg\u00fcveni ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 memnun etmek i\u00e7in performans olarak kullanmak” dedi\u011fi kal\u0131p \u2014 bu iki sabotajc\u0131n\u0131n birlikte \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 noktad\u0131r. Hem “beni be\u011fensinler” hem “ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olay\u0131m ki be\u011fensinler” sesleri ayn\u0131 anda \u00e7alar ve siz ikisini de memnun etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken kendi sesinizi tamamen kaybedersiniz.<\/p>\n

Maya’n\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7 ad\u0131m\u0131 ve Pozitif Zeka ba\u011flant\u0131lar\u0131<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Maya \u00fc\u00e7 ad\u0131m \u00f6neriyor ve bu ad\u0131mlar\u0131n Pozitif Zeka ile \u00f6rt\u00fc\u015fmesi bence tesad\u00fcf de\u011fil.<\/p>\n

Birinci ad\u0131m: Kendi imaj\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n sahipli\u011fini al\u0131n. Maya “her sabah kendinize sorun: bug\u00fcn kim olmay\u0131 se\u00e7iyorum?” diyor. Ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n sizden bekledi\u011fi ki\u015fi olmak yerine kendi de\u011ferlerinizle uyumlu ki\u015fiyi bilin\u00e7li olarak se\u00e7mek. Bu Pozitif Zeka’daki Bilge Beynin “Anlaml\u0131 Y\u00f6n” g\u00fcc\u00fcyle birebir \u00f6rt\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n

\u0130kinci ad\u0131m: Kendinize g\u00fcven in\u015fa edin. Maya “kendinize verdi\u011finiz s\u00f6zleri tutun, ne kadar k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck olursa olsun” diyor. Haftada \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn spor yapaca\u011f\u0131m dediniz mi yap\u0131n. Bir arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131 arayaca\u011f\u0131m dediniz mi aray\u0131n. Her tutulmayan s\u00f6z i\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcveni biraz daha a\u015f\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131r, her tutulan s\u00f6z biraz daha g\u00fc\u00e7lendirir. Bu tam olarak PQ al\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131n\u0131n mant\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. PQ’da g\u00fcnde 15 dakikal\u0131k k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck zihinsel egzersizlerle bir kas geli\u015ftirirsiniz. Her yap\u0131lan al\u0131\u015ft\u0131rma o kas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7lendirir, her atlanan g\u00fcn biraz zay\u0131flat\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc ad\u0131m: Sonu\u00e7lardan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zla\u015f\u0131n. Bu belki de en zor ad\u0131md\u0131r ve Pozitif Zeka’n\u0131n en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc mesaj\u0131yla do\u011frudan ba\u011flant\u0131l\u0131d\u0131r. Maya “sadece sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 de\u011fil, g\u00f6sterdi\u011finiz \u00e7abay\u0131 da kutlay\u0131n” diyor. PQ’nun temel prensiplerinden biri ise “her olay bir hediye veya bir f\u0131rsata d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fclebilir” perspektifidir. Kaybetti\u011finizde de kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zda da ayn\u0131 i\u00e7 dengeyi koruyabilmek \u2014 Maya buna “sonu\u00e7lardan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zla\u015fmak” diyor, PQ buna “Bilge Beyin bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131” diyor. Farkl\u0131 diller, ayn\u0131 ger\u00e7ek.<\/p>\n

30 g\u00fcnl\u00fck meydan okuma<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Maya konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 \u015fu s\u00f6zlerle bitiriyor: Alex h\u00e2l\u00e2 toplant\u0131lara ayn\u0131 enerjiyle giriyor. H\u00e2l\u00e2 \u00f6zg\u00fcvenli g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor. Ancak art\u0131k insanlar\u0131n onu yarg\u0131lay\u0131p yarg\u0131lamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 umursam\u0131yor. Yanl\u0131\u015f bir \u015fey s\u00f6yleyip s\u00f6ylemedi\u011fini kafas\u0131nda tekrarlam\u0131yor. Kendine g\u00fcveniyor \u2014 ger\u00e7ekten g\u00fcveniyor. Ve bu onu manyetik k\u0131l\u0131yor. Yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyler y\u00fcz\u00fcnden de\u011fil, oldu\u011fu ki\u015fi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden.<\/p>\n

Maya 30 g\u00fcnl\u00fck bir meydan okuma \u00f6neriyor: Her g\u00fcn bu \u00fc\u00e7 ad\u0131m\u0131 uygulay\u0131n ve 30 g\u00fcn sonra ne de\u011fi\u015fti\u011fini g\u00f6zlemleyin.<\/p>\n

Ben de \u00f6neriyorum ancak bir eklemeyle: \u00d6nce hangi sabotajc\u0131n\u0131n sizin \u00f6zg\u00fcveninizi y\u00f6netti\u011fini fark edin. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131 tan\u0131madan sava\u015famazs\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n

Dipnot:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018\u2019 Bu yaz\u0131 konuk yazar\u0131n ki\u015fisel g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerini ve pop\u00fcler zihinsel geli\u015fim metotlar\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7ermektedir; t\u0131bbi bir tavsiye niteli\u011fi ta\u015f\u0131maz\u2019\u2019<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n

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Onu tan\u0131yorsunuz. Belki de her g\u00fcn aynada g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsunuz. Toplant\u0131ya giriyor, enerjisi y\u00fcksek, ileti\u015fimi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc, insanlar ona “ne kadar \u00f6zg\u00fcvenli biri” diyor. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor, te\u015fekk\u00fcr ediyor. Sonra toplant\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor ve kafas\u0131ndaki sesler ba\u015fl\u0131yor: “Do\u011fru \u015feyi mi s\u00f6yledim?” “Ya asl\u0131nda beni be\u011fenmedilerse?” “Fazla m\u0131 iddial\u0131 oldum?” “Ya bilmedi\u011fimi fark ederlerse?” Bu sahneyi zihinsel fitness uzman\u0131 Maya Raichoora bir […]<\/p>\n\n

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